Inciteful's Take on the Transformers Movie (2007) Script

January 24, 2007 - First and fore most, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!! I took it upon myself to take a look at the script for the upcoming live-action movie Transformers, coming on July 4th, 2007. Being a major fan of the series and living my childhood raised upon Generation 1 (a.k.a. G1) I do have high hopes for the franchise to do well. Alas, this movie spits upon it. Yes, in no way, shape, or form is it to resemble the G1 era. Hence, 2006-7 timeframe for the movie as well as other factors. So here's my beefs with the movie and what must be corrected before you even try to do a sequel, yes there are at least two other films that are supposed to follow this.

    Problem #1: Megatron and Optimus Prime ARE NOT BROTHERS! Yes, dear friends. In the movie, it refers to Optimus and Megs being both brothers... Oh boy, did ANYONE do ANY research??? Throughout ALL the DIFFERENT continunties of Transformers, Megs and Prime ARE NOT RELATED other than coming from the same planet! For the record, Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus are brothers (in the G1 and Robots in Disguise continuity).

    Problem #2: Too many humans and not enough robots do not mix for Transformers... Dare I say it, a live-action movie does have it's consquences. Mostly humans with little interaction from robots. The script is indeed "a bad comedy" to quote Galvatron from the '85 movie. References to Yahoo, eBay, and Paris Hilton of all things do not help. I sense a great disturbance in the force for the Trek XI script. (Same writers as this movie.)

    Problem #3: Megs apparently made the internet and the microwave oven... Yep, a frozen Megs is disected for the current technology that we use. Just goes to show you that a time-travelling ship from the future can do the same thing by 1996 (See Star Trek: Voyager).

    Problem #4: The robots look like Go-Bots... Recognize Megatron? Um... No. Recognize Starscream? Um... No. Now granted with today's licensing restrictions and toy guidelines, Megs as a gun is just not possible. The closest we could get is the Classics version kinda like a ray gun or a Nerf blaster. But he could have been a tank, and at least recognizable to some of the many forms that he has taken throughout the different timelines. Now Starscream has almost always been an F-15 or a fighter jet. So that part is down pat, the robot mode... Looks like a fish. Now who was designing these again???

    So will I go and see this travistry? Yes, I will. Just to get a good laugh and shake my head in disbelief at the screen. I'll probably avoid the boards as well... I can't imagine the bloodshed that will occur...

By, Kevin D. Matthews

1999-2007 by Kevin Matthews. All Rights Reserved.